Using kitchen shears, carefully cut through the lobster shell and gently separate the meat, leaving the small tail fin attached. Remove the digestive tract, if present. Butterfly the thickest portion of the lobster meat lengthwise without cutting all the way through, then open it like a book.

Place each lobster tail between two sheets of plastic wrap or inside a large zip-top bag. Using the smooth side of a meat mallet, gently pound the lobster until flattened into an even cutlet, approximately ½ inch thick. Take care not to tear the delicate meat or detach the tail fin. Repeat with the remaining lobster tails and pat dry with paper towels.

Prepare three shallow bowls for breading. In the first, combine the flour, ½ teaspoon kosher salt, black pepper, garlic powder, and smoked paprika. In the second, whisk together the eggs and water until smooth. In the third, combine the panko breadcrumbs, Parmesan cheese, Italian seasoning, and remaining ½ teaspoon kosher salt.

Working with one lobster cutlet at a time, dredge the meat in the seasoned flour, shaking off any excess. Dip into the egg wash, allowing the excess to drip off, then press firmly into the seasoned panko breadcrumbs until evenly coated on both sides. Keep the tail fin exposed. Transfer to a wire rack and repeat with the remaining lobster.

Refrigerate the breaded lobster cutlets for approximately 10 minutes to help the coating adhere while you prepare the pasta.

Bring a large pot of generously salted water to a boil. Cook the pasta according to the package instructions until just shy of al dente. Reserve 1 cup of the pasta cooking water before draining.

Meanwhile, melt the butter with the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the diced shallot and cook for 2–3 minutes, stirring occasionally, until softened. Add the garlic and crushed red pepper flakes, if using, and cook for another 30 seconds, until fragrant.

Stir in the tomato paste and cook for 3–5 minutes, stirring frequently, until it deepens in color and begins to caramelize. Pour in the vodka, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of the skillet, and simmer for 2–3 minutes until reduced.

Reduce the heat to medium-low and slowly stir in the heavy cream until the sauce is smooth and evenly combined. Add the Parmesan cheese, stirring until melted, and season with salt and black pepper to taste.

Add the cooked pasta directly to the sauce and toss until evenly coated. Gradually add reserved pasta water, a few tablespoons at a time, until the sauce is silky, glossy, and clings to the pasta. Remove from the heat and keep warm.

Heat the clarified butter in a large, heavy-bottomed skillet over medium heat until it reaches approximately 325–350°F. The butter should be hot enough to sizzle gently when the breaded lobster is added, without browning the coating too quickly.

Working in batches, carefully place the lobster cutlets into the skillet, keeping the tail fins positioned away from the hottest part of the pan when possible. Fry for approximately 2–3 minutes per side, depending on thickness, until the breading is golden brown and crispy and the lobster is cooked through to an internal temperature of 145°F. Add more clarified butter as needed between batches.

Divide the creamy pasta alla vodka among four shallow serving bowls, arranging the pasta into a neat mound. Place one crispy lobster cutlet over each portion, positioning the attached tail fin outward for presentation.

Finish each cutlet with a small dollop of caviar and garnish with freshly chopped parsley or chives. Serve immediately with fresh lemon wedges on the side.